paradoxical.

2011-10-29T02:06:00.000+08:00

IT'S NIGHTS LIKE THIS THAT MAKES ME WANNA GIVE UP ON MYSELF...

Before anyone reads on - There are definitely more misfortunes/hardships/sob stories going on in the world(i.e. flood in BKK, dead bodies in Bedok Reservoir, death of Steve Jobs) that are more noteworthy of asking, "Why God why?". And what I'm about to type is not a matter of questioning faith (or is it?) but truthfully, it's coming to a point where I wish to ~~say~~ declare, "This has to stop!".

Have you ever left your comfort zone (even though it was never an obligation) to lend more than just a helping hand to someone, but in turn, get sucker-punched right in your face?

Try convincing yourself to leave your tentage in the midst of a heavy thunderstorm, getting all drenched up just to help acquaintances get their shelter up, but in return get accused by them for something you didn't do, which led to many dire moments which I'd rather not talk about anymore...

Have you ever given your all for friend(s) / loved one(s) / establishment(s) but only to realize it's not worth the effort as they will only turn their back away from you without even considering what you may have done for them?

When is it ever good enough when one is being blamed upon with non-existent issues? Why would you take my kindness and friendship for granted by leaving me to do your job? Just because you know that I'm the kind who "would-clean-up-your-mess-and-not-choose-to-ignore-it" does not mean that I condone your ~~actions~~ lack of actions!!!

Have you ever planned every detail of an event / party only to be criticized or questioned for the choice of dining venue or the average spending for the event?

Every reason to justify why I'm definitely telling myself not to EVER (as much as I can) plan anything for anyone (as many as I can) again. You can kiss my white ass and plan every other shit that comes along the way and tell me how long you can last. I probably lasted till as long as RECENTLY since ages ago....

Have you ever volunteered guiding someone who was deemed as an outcast by most, gave your all to help, but all you see from him are shadows of those who deemed him as outcast but none of yourself?

I've never once treated you unfairly even though I knew you may have intentionally or unintentionally stepped on other's toes along the way. I may have done my best to ease you into the group in the past despite the negative environment, but now, every turn I make, every step I take, I see you as my stumbling block, directly or indirectly. Is it a question of maturity or sensibility?

Have you ever considered every step of the way for the benefit and welfare of a TEAM, not forgetting the sacrifices made, but only to be made a fool by the same group of people?

I can sit there and listen to your troubles. I can give chance after chance knowing it will probably be better for you with that CHANCE. I can give without asking for returns. I'd be glad if there were any returns, who wouldn't be? BUT, I can't take it lying down when 1) all of the above are not only taken for granted but 2) I have to bear the consequences of your reckless and immature actions while 3) seeing you reap the benefits of my fruits of labour.

What I can't seem to understand is, why do such things to someone who goes out of the way to fight for you or stand by you when no one else has or would have done. You can take away all the credit from me, I have no issues with that. BUT WHY DO I HAVE TO BEAR THE UNNECESSARY SUCKER-PUNCH DEALT BY THE VERY PEOPLE WHOM I'VE INTENDED TO HELP IN THE FIRST PLACE?!
(Now go read the top again...I'm still choosing to give up on myself and not YOU! How freaking dumb can I get?)

2011-10-17T23:26:00.000+08:00

- Why do I always feel like the preyed zebra?

A friend in need is a friend indeed. But what if you're only a friend when others are in need?
Consequently, these people would just vanish into thin air.

Moving on, there are some things that 99% of the people in the world would turn a blind eye to, and 1% that would feel obligated to do otherwise. As much as I hate to admit, the 1% of us complete this world.

2011-09-22T02:37:00.001+08:00

If a picture paints a thousand words...

An illustration, accompanied with words, makes more than a picture. Thank you guys!

2011-09-21T02:13:00.002+08:00

Days like this that keeps me going...

As much as people may turn their back against the service industry, especially in Singapore, it's the satisfaction I get from delightful guests who are warm and appreciative that keeps me going!

Testimonials, as per above, that remind myself that despite those that give service or consumers a bad name, it's not turning into a stereotype that demoralises and discourages any individual from giving their best.

Alas, time to look forward to a couple of short trips overseas to rejuvenate and revitalise!

2011-09-20T01:58:00.000+08:00

3 More Days...

And it feels like I really deserve a long long holiday, some time off to take my mind off things + to re-evaluate.

2011-09-19T00:36:00.001+08:00

Remember this day...

For we are being crowned "Best Service Establishment"! :D

2011-09-18T23:03:00.002+08:00

Some are just born to create trouble; others to clean up the mess made by the former.

Don't you think so?

2011-09-16T01:16:00.004+08:00

Vote For 10 Years of Great Service!

As the deadline to CanYouServe's biggest tip jar competition draws near to a close (this Sunday), we hope that more friends and fans of BROTH, especially those whom we have served and impressed upon over these years to "lend a helping hand" by voting for us and extending the lead at the top of the chart!

To vote, 1) Simply click on the following link: www.canyouserve.com.sg

2) "Like" the page (you will need to login to your FB account), before scrolling to the bottom of the "Biggest Tip Jar" tab's page where you will find the voting form.

3) For the establishment, key in BROTH Singapore Pte Ltd, followed by the reason why you're voting for us! It is that simple! :D

As it is right now, we are 34 votes ahead of Pigeonhole but anything can happen between now till Sunday and we are certainly keeping our fingers crossed! :X

2011-09-09T02:48:00.000+08:00

2011-08-21T23:34:00.004+08:00

TO THE WORLD'S GREATEST SWEETHEART

Happy 26th birthday to you, dia'rie!

You've been the greatest, undisputedly. Love you!

2011-08-18T02:53:00.002+08:00

THE AMAZING HUMAN DEFENSE MECHANISM

defense mechanism, in psychoanalytic theory, any of a group of mental processes that enables the mind to reach compromise solutions to conflicts that it is unable to resolve. The process is usually unconscious, and the compromise generally involves concealing from oneself internal drives or feelings that threaten to lower self-esteem or provoke anxiety. The concept derives from the psychoanalytic hypothesis that there are forces in the mind that oppose and battle against each other. The term was first used in Sigmund Freud’s paper The Neuro-Psychoses of Defence (1894).

Some of the major defense mechanisms described by psychoanalysts are the following:

1. Repression is the withdrawal from consciousness of an unwanted idea, affect, or desire by pushing it down, or repressing it, into the unconscious part of the mind. An example may be found in a case of hysterical amnesia, in which the victim has performed or witnessed some disturbing act and then completely forgotten the act itself and the circumstances surrounding it.
2. Reaction formation is the fixation in consciousness of an idea, affect, or desire that is opposite to a feared unconscious impulse. A mother who bears an unwanted child, for example, may react to her feelings of guilt for not wanting the child by becoming extremely solicitous and overprotective to convince both the child and herself that she is a good mother.
3. Projection is a form of defense in which unwanted feelings are displaced onto another person, where they then appear as a threat from the external world. A common form of projection occurs when an individual, threatened by his own angry feelings, accuses another of harbouring hostile thoughts.
4. Regression is a return to earlier stages of development and abandoned forms of gratification belonging to them, prompted by dangers or conflicts arising at one of the later stages. A young wife, for example, might retreat to the security of her parents’ home after her first quarrel with her husband.
5. Sublimation is the diversion or deflection of instinctual drives, usually sexual ones, into noninstinctual channels. Psychoanalytic theory holds that the energy invested in sexual impulses can be shifted to the pursuit of more acceptable and even socially valuable achievements, such as artistic or scientific endeavours.
6. Denial is the conscious refusal to perceive that painful facts exist. In denying latent feelings of homosexuality or hostility, or mental defects in one’s child, an individual can escape intolerable thoughts, feelings, or events.
7. Rationalization is the substitution of a safe and reasonable explanation for the true (but threatening) cause of behaviour.

Psychoanalysts emphasize that the use of a defense mechanism is a normal part of personality function and not in and of itself a sign of psychological disorder. Various psychological disorders, however, can be characterized by an excessive or rigid use of these defenses.

I have been enlightened.

P.S. When I was reading the excerpt, shivers went down my spine (with no relation to self).

2011-08-17T15:01:00.002+08:00

YOU HAVE TO BE CRUEL TO BE KIND.

Do you think that the above is a necessary evil? :/

2011-08-17T02:07:00.003+08:00

COS' SOME ARE JUST OBLIVIOUS.

It's just so frustrating at times when you just can't put a finger to why 1) people do the things they do & 2) people don't do the things they should be doing!

Anyways, major hiatus from the blogosphere and I have no idea what hit me to get some thoughts up again. It's 2.30am and I should really be hitting the sack after a long tiresome day at work (calendar reads TUESDAY > are you serious?!) but here I am doing what I prolly shouldn't be doing...

2010-07-18T14:27:00.001+08:00

Honestly...

I don't think I have to be accountable for my actions and decisions to you in many ways...

2010-07-10T01:40:00.001+08:00

Hopelessly in LOVE...

6 July 2010 - A date to remember! :D

2010-06-26T05:45:00.003+08:00

If it ain't Ms Lovable... :D

Thank you for your "medication"! :D

2010-06-21T00:32:00.002+08:00

Happy Dad's Day! :D

Dad's getting older...

Silly mum...

Bro & I on the slide...

Crazy Cuz!

We just had to do this! But Jeremy beats me hands down on this one..I think I'm getting too old for these... :D

2010-06-20T16:02:00.000+08:00

From "The Time Traveler's Wife"...

"It's hard being left behind. I wait for Henry, not knowing where he is, wondering if he's okay. It's hard to be the one who stays."
—Clare

2010-06-16T01:28:00.003+08:00

Mroomhead...

你若不在我的脑海

就一片空白

因为我不停猜想你的心思你的脸

模拟着和你见面走在一起的画面...

2010-06-04T01:03:00.001+08:00

Hope you will like it! :D

2010-05-30T23:03:00.001+08:00

She's out of my league.

Sabo-ed to get this shot!

2010-04-21T00:38:00.000+08:00

My Total Addiction X 2

2010-04-17T12:52:00.001+08:00

Officially Wonderful Vocals!

2010-04-04T21:10:00.000+08:00

Mad Guesstures

Mad Guesstures from Chunky Ng on Vimeo.

2010-03-30T21:31:00.001+08:00

Nature’s Elements

Animals are nature’s gardeners. Humans are nature’s destroyers.

2010-03-29T17:03:00.005+08:00

I'm Not Married

And the idea of wearing all that cloth on yourself for photoshoot is... I'll leave that particular experience for you to find out someday :D

2010-03-29T02:03:00.008+08:00

Awesome Possum Weekend!

Kickstarted with dinner at 313 Somerset's Marche to celebrate Euphemitripoong's 26th Birthday!

Not forgetting the sinful birthday cake...

And designer-worthy presents...

And without fail, the usual practice of standing around (for a substantial amount of time) before deciding on what's next in the itinerary... :)

The seemingly default hang-out at Starbucks for a cuppa delectable caffeinated beverage + bonding...

And surprisingly, the once-in-a-blue-moon clubbing experience at Butter Factory!

Top it all up with a sumptuous treat by two petite and lovely ladies at the Old Airport Road Hawker Centre with a lil bitching and catching up ;P

P.S. And Liverpool thrashed Sunderland 3-0!!!

2010-03-26T23:09:00.003+08:00

How To Kill Time

1) Watch movies...

Amazingly, I grabbed an original copy of Confucius off the shelves of the DVD rentals at Yew Tee Point. Was told by probably one of the bosses that he went through as much as moving hills and mountains to get copies of this in China, and getting the film authorities to approve for ratings and rental.

Anyway, I can only say I now know a lot more about Confucius (probably zilch before?)! :)

Remember Me really broke my heart when the character played by Robert Pattinson (of Twilight saga fame), Tyler Hawkins, ceased to live in the most unexpected way!

You could probably anticipate something bad that's going to happen without having to be a scholar in musicology (listen to the music as it guides you to the tragic event that's going to happen).

End of the day, live life passionately and like it was your last day everyday...

P.S. I noticed a trend in Hollywood at this moment > some sort of obsession with Greek mythology.

First was Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief. Bits of it were mentioned in Remember Me and soon, Clash of the Titans will be centred around the Greek gods and mythical creatures.

How To Train Your Dragon is another wonderful and entertaining 3D animated motion picture by Dreamworks! Caught this at Golden Village (Plaza Singapura) and realised Shaw actually has better fitting and lighter 3D glasses than GV! GV's glasses were so fricking heavy + my own specs, I literally had my finger supporting the weight throughout the entire movie! Cheese and whiskers!

2) Have a read...

I'm really not much of a book person but after watching behind-the-scenes footages and interviews with the cast of The Time Traveler's Wife, it tempted me to take a different journey and to find out more about the relationship between Henry DeTamble and Clare Abshire!

2010-03-26T01:24:00.001+08:00

A Jolly Good Fella | A Simple Life

2010-03-25T22:57:00.004+08:00

Love After Love

The time will come

when, with elation,

you will greet yourself arriving

at your own door, in your own mirror,

and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was your self.

Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart

to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored

for another, who knows you by heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,

peel your own image from the mirror.

Sit. Feast on your life.

- Derek Walcott

2010-03-25T01:31:00.003+08:00

Take A Second To Ponder

Photos courtesy of Coffee Tang (Coffee & Tea Dreamworks)

2010-03-23T17:34:00.001+08:00

Old School

This two photos never fail to put a smile on my face. :D

2010-03-19T00:18:00.003+08:00

Caught In The Act!

We were actually stalked in Bangkok, Thailand!!!

Click below for article:

http://www.cnngo.com/bangkok/play/tourist-fashion-crimes-bangkoks-red-light-zones-621130

2010-03-18T22:56:00.003+08:00

Anything goes (with Denzel Washington)!

The best African-American actor for me, hands down!

Watch as Denzel Washington takes on a more action-packed role in The Book of Eli, a post-apocalyptic blockbuster!

P.S Inside Man 2 will be out some time this year!

2010-03-17T21:55:00.003+08:00

Life's A Hunt!

The Time Traveler's Wife

An intriguing yet romantic love story of a time traveler and a woman who inevitably fell deeply in love with him after their first encounter when she was six.

Based on Audrey Niffenegger's novel of the same title, I think the cast, especially Rachel McAdams, was awesome. Though I've yet to read the book, I'm pretty certain they did Audrey's work and characters great justice in the film adaptation.

2010-03-16T22:10:00.004+08:00

~~LIFE~~

In life, we grow to learn, grow to love and at times grow to hate.

We experience the pain of every fall, and the pride of picking ourselves up.

We learn to like and dislike. To forgive and forget. To celebrate and mourn.

Some taken away prematurely. Others chose to part irresponsibly.

Those left in this degenerating society, we need to start finding our purpose in life.

Find it before the day we are striked off in this life.

2010-03-16T02:58:00.006+08:00

2 Down & Many More To Go!

One isn't worthy for mention - some hongkie junkie movie.

But the other is definitely rave-worthy! Bring in the Law Abiding Citizen!

It's a pity I missed this on the big screen but at least that added value to my 40 odd inch tele!

Here's a man, played by Gerard Butler, whose family was raped and slaughtered by one of 2 robbers; out to bring down the judicial system that had the killer wrongly convicted for third-degree murder but not condemned to a deserving death row.

More of Butler to come in...

How To Train Your Dragon

The Bounty Hunter!

2010-03-15T15:22:00.002+08:00

It's all fun and games until somebody gets hurt!

4 legends. 3 having fun. 1 seemed to be in competitive mood.

2010-03-14T14:00:00.004+08:00

Are you carrying an excess baggage?

Wittily crafted dialogues and the ever-charming George Clooney is probably a sure-win formula for box office success, without having to impress with a visual overload of special digital effects.

And let's not take away credit from the attractive Vera Farmiga, for despite her age, was still able to make "young" boys like me salivate over this sexy cougar's body.

Watching this movie made me feel perfectly normal why I'm losing connection/having this fear of making connection with the female species these days.

It also dawned upon me how much excess baggage I've been carrying over the years, unknowingly dragging my heavily-laden shoulders with each passing day.

It's time to release some of that weight and just carry what's close to my heart. :)

2010-03-11T23:51:00.004+08:00

Strangle Me Softly...

All I can say is that the frustration will end in a couple of days time.

I really can't stand the fact that you're just a fair-weather being.

And that, I'm certain, is an understatement.

2010-03-10T23:10:00.001+08:00

Makansutra No More

K.F Seetoh lost his credibility the moment he appeared on KFC's ad.

2010-03-09T23:06:00.002+08:00

If you had one thing in life you could change, what would it be?

2010-03-08T22:40:00.009+08:00

No Longer The Young Ones

Unknowingly, it's nearly 10 years since I first set foot on the old campus of Pioneer Junior College!

If not for Susi and Jasline's determination to pull me into the picture for S19's gathering, I doubt I'll have any recollection of me being in S19 for 1st 3 months of my JC years!

It's nice to see familiar faces, even though I didn't exactly know some of them but I sure did after the party! :D

And of course, they would have acknowledged the fact that I was pretty "thirsty"...

And that I was really pathetic at Indian Poker! :P

Lose until kena high!

And we chatted over the good ol' days back in PJC...

*PHOTOS COURTESY OF ZHENYANG AND AISYAH*

2010-03-07T20:12:00.006+08:00

Major Heads-up in Hollywood

The Last Airbender - Directed by M. Night Shyamalan

Clash of The Titans - Directed by Louis Leterrier

Iron Man 2 - Directed by Jon Favreau

A Nightmare on Elm Street - Directed by Samuel Bayer

Robinhood - Directed by Ridley Scott

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time - Directed by Mike Newell

2010-03-04T23:45:00.002+08:00

Personal Milestones

The satisfaction is knowing that I've more than delivered. :)

2010-03-04T21:13:00.001+08:00

The Big BANGkok Theory

The Big BANGkok Theory from Chunky Ng on Vimeo.

2010-02-27T01:38:00.002+08:00

~~12 Months Later~~

Ready, Jet set, Fly! (And off I go to Bangkok, Thailand for a well-deserved break!)

Dear Lord, grant me 4 days of pure joy and fun with Fattinis and Lina Melina! And I'll be back in church over the following weekend! :D Promise!

AMEN!

2010-02-24T12:23:00.002+08:00

2010-02-24T00:06:00.001+08:00

2010-02-19T23:37:00.003+08:00

I Remember Every Look Upon Your Face

Now is that a good thing or bad thing? :)

2010-02-18T14:45:00.004+08:00

(screams) OMG (/screams)

You know, when everyone yearns to shout "Thank God It's Friday" week in and out, here I am sitting here not really looking forward to FRIDAY!

Anyway, here's something to leave most who are working fuming! :P

2010-02-15T01:32:00.002+08:00

Through The Years...

It's amazing how much we have all grown over the years...

And it's over the Lunar New Year that we try to recall how each of us looked like in the previous years of celebration.

Without fail, the first in line of comparison would be the height issue. Being the undisputed "champion", I doubt any of my cousins would usurp this particular throne of mine!

This year in particular, not sure if V-day falling on the same day as CNY played any significant role, many were asking me about getting a partner soon. But I'm kind of contented and comfortable with the way things are going for myself at the moment for any form of romantic intrusion in my life.

Pardon the negativity but I guess it came along with the experiences I've had, so I'm glad I'm in MY comfort zone for now. :)

2010-02-13T01:30:00.001+08:00

Hi, My Sweetheart

Now, this should keep me occupied for the days to come! ;)

Happy Lunar New Year to all! ;P

2010-02-02T22:45:00.004+08:00

Dummies's Guide For Employers

1. In truth, employees do not owe you a living. So stop behaving like they do.

2. Employees are not slaves.

3. Inspire & motivate. Not infuriate with words that are mere rhetoric.

4. If you wish for productivity and cost efficiency, stop barking our names every now and then! ("Now and then" implies every 5-10 minutes, LITERALLY!) If you think you have the right to do so since you are the paymaster, continue to do so then.

5. Stop hallucinating that all the staff have the intention to steal some top secret or anything private and confidential from the company. If you have that mentality deeply rooted in your thick skull, invest in a state-of-the-art security system or implement red tapes! Otherwise, don't even dream about expanding the company.

6. Pre-inform your staff of your expectations (Read: "1 Free Round of Amendment Only").

7. If you hire an amateur, don't expect anything world class. Shame on you if you even think of putting the blame on him/her for not delivering the goods.

8. You teach and impart skills/knowledge to your staff primarily to move the company forward, not to expect loyalty in return. It is how you treat your employees that will probably determine their stay with the company.

9. If you can't even treat your employees/partners right, don't expect them to treat you well too.

10. You can't impose a ban on office politics. Not to mention implement fines for those caught for bitching behind the back of a crap ass boss!

11. If you don't give a shit, why should any of your employees?

12. Your employees are not borned yesterday, so stop kidding them with a non-existent "Management" or a "rainbow" that does not have any pot of gold at both ends.

13. You're probably unlucky to have 1 problematic employee. But if majority of the staff have issues, you're definitely the problematic one.

14. If you can't even walk your talk, I suggest you take the talk and shaft it up your own ass.

15. Employees have their minds and rights to decide what's best for them and probably what's worst for the company, if it ever turns ugly.

16. As employers, you have the right to ignore or not heed the above-mentioned. However, don't be too surprise when things happen for we, as employees, always have Point 15 to fall back on.

2010-01-29T08:04:00.000+08:00

Video editing becomes more addictive than kissing! :)

Say Kait & Jasmine's Kissing Game from Facebook User on Vimeo.

2010-01-28T23:49:00.003+08:00

My Brother & Sister-in-law's Wedding Video Clip

With my iMac, I can do much more!

2010-01-27T23:06:00.004+08:00

Grant Me A Peaceful Mind At Work

Suspense is part and parcel of life.

Countless mysteries in life we probably wouldn't understand, not to mention solve.

But that doesn't take away the fact that it irks me to the core, things that I can't seem to fathom.

About people.

2010-01-25T21:21:00.004+08:00

Feels good to be home!

Sometimes I wonder, what is it that we are working for?

Ambition? Self-sustenance? For a better future? To feel important within the society? Family commitments?

What then makes a person work hard or harder?

Workaholic in nature? Swift climb up the corporate ladder? Higher commission?

And at the end of the day, we would probably be so drained out, we feel the need to head somewhere around the world for a breather...to be physically and mentally ready for this vicious cycle to start all over again!

"Sort" right? (Mad right?)

For now, I'm just looking forward to 1) a family retreat at Pasir Ris Chalet, 2) the annual Sexy'ians' CNY House Visiting, 3) BKK trip and 4) a new beginning at B.R.O.T.H! :D

2010-01-25T00:51:00.004+08:00

It's Been Our Pleasure! :)

Choon Yong & Kennis, we truly appreciate you two going the extra mile to get us delectable chocolates from Royce as well as a written card which brought a big smile to our faces!

It was certainly our pleasure advising and assisting the both of you during the process of your wedding and till our paths cross again, one way or another! :)

2010-01-25T00:13:00.002+08:00

Rain Or Shine...

2010-01-23T02:18:00.002+08:00

Black & White (Pi Zi Ying Xiong)

As always, I'm kinda slow and selective when it comes to Taiwanese drama. But I gotta say "Black & White", so far, has been a great show!

Starring Vic Zhou and Mark Zhao, who eventually went on to claim the Best Actor accolade in the 44th Golden Bell Awards in 2009 for his role as Ying Xiong. As I googled Mark, I found out an interesting fact = both of us share the same birth date (25th Sept 1984)!!!

And let's not forget, the eye candy of the show (In my opinion)!!!

JANINE CHANG!!!

Who's hotter? Janine Chang or Lin Chi-Ling?

For me, it's Janine Chang! :P

2010-01-22T01:10:00.002+08:00

New Dawn

As my 1 year tenure at C&T comes to an end in March, I begin to wonder what lies ahead of me. :)

2010-01-21T01:15:00.001+08:00

Mummy's Joy :)

2009-12-27T20:44:00.000+08:00

Beat This If You Can

2009-12-19T00:40:00.006+08:00

I Hereby Declare Myself Married...

2009-12-18T23:25:00.002+08:00

It's Not Easy To Be Me...

It dawned upon me, after a bout of illness and a suspected wrist fracture, that I'm human after all.

2009-11-24T00:33:00.002+08:00

Strike Me Down, If You Can

I stand by only one thing.

That one thing spells F A M I L Y.

2009-11-23T21:39:00.002+08:00

To err is human; to forgive, divine. - KKH Drug Blunder

I'll let you all do the reading and analysis...

http://mohsingapore.blogspot.com/2009/11/to-err-is-human-to-forgive-divine.html

As oxymoronic as I may sound, I am speechless, even though it's not true that I have nothing to say...

2009-11-22T14:17:00.001+08:00

KKH Drug Scare Woman Speaks

Read the story out on The Newpaper (Sunday).

2009-11-20T23:27:00.002+08:00

Our Deepest Appreciation - Drug Blunder At KKH

Thank you all for the concern, well wishes and prayers thus far. :)

My apologies for not being able to reply immediately and to each individual as I'm just too tied up at work and this current issue.

On behalf of my family, I thank all of you, and hopefully, our shared voices will not be futile.

2009-11-19T23:10:00.002+08:00

Define "Equality" - Drug Blunder At KKH

Mummy is a nice lady. One of the nicest even to strangers. Even after having to go through all these, she puts a smile on her face, greets and wishes the nurses and doctors well whenever they visited her in the ward. She would even check with them if they have had their meals etc. I'm certain the staff at KKH can testify to that.

Don't get me wrong, there were nice and caring nurses and doctor (like Dr Chia) who attended to my mum. But overall, from the negligence to post-incident treatment and experience at KKH just did not go well. And that's just an under-statement.

While chatting with my mum after work yesterday, she too felt a sense of injustice and inequality when both herself and Mrs Yip both were victims of the same blunder, yet for some reason(s), she never got an apology from the 2 pharmacist. It's not a matter of whether the apology meant anything at this point in time when the drug already would have affected the victims. But knowing that they did apologize to Mrs Yip and not to her, made everyone of us feel sick in the stomach. I can bet with anyone that my mum will not even raise her voice at them had they faced their music and visited her personally.

One of the staff at KKH even mentioned that it was commendable for my mum to have alerted the hospital immediately when the alarm (infusion pump) went off.

AND IT WAS MY MUM'S CALL THAT SAVED KKH FROM EVEN DIRE CONSEQUENCES.

It was my mum's call that led to Mrs Yip being alerted by KKH about their blunder.

Then tell me, give me a very good reason to convince my mum, my dad, my family members. Explain to me why is there such "double-standards"? Am I right to say that my mum deserves better treatment only if she had been administered an equally, if not much more potent drug?

Sigh...

2009-11-18T23:21:00.002+08:00

My doubts and uncertainties - Drug Blunder At KKH

If right at the on-start, KKH were to place my mum in an isolation ward immediately due to their negligence, I would not question their sincerity and severity towards this matter.

But for my mum and Mrs Yip, they were only transferred to an isolation ward on the second day, perhaps after some assessment by the higher management/authority of the hospital.

Anyone undergoing chemotherapy would have their immunity level lowered due to the drug effects and the hospital knows that better than anyone, no?

Like I've mentioned earlier and to the inquiry panel, their apologies so far (but nothing heard out from the pharmacists, so I wouldn't know if they're chinese nationals or not) and their seriousness in view of such a blunder mean nothing to us when what we see and experience thus far does not justify their statement!!!

If a medical professional and senior oncologist, Dr Soh Lay Tin, can go on to ask us if we prefer to have the drug administered over 6 minutes when her initial prescription was over 3 days due to lower risks, how can my family now trust Dr Soh and KKH for days to come?

My mum is now experiencing discoloration of her tongue and finger nails too...

2009-11-17T22:48:00.003+08:00

Drug Blunder At Kandang Kerbau Hospital

I want my mum to be well.

2009-11-17T01:30:00.004+08:00

Can Doxorubicin truly be injected within 6 or 15 minutes without any risk?

After reading several reports, I realised that Mrs Yip(Mdm Ng's) drug was always mentioned to the public (5-fluorouracil) but as for my mum's case, it's just a brief statement saying the drug given can actually be done in 15 minutes.

During the inquiry, senior medical oncologist Dr Soh Lay Tin even "assured" us that "it's ok" to have it injected in 6 minutes.

To me, the infusion clearly exceeded the prescription given by doctor. So how can that be ok?!

How true is the above statement?

2009-11-16T23:50:00.002+08:00

2 Cancer Patients At The Heart of KK Hospital Drug Blunder

It's heartbreaking to see my mum having to go through all these at 51. As though cancer hasn't dealt a severe blow on her and our family, the drug blunder had to happen.

Now this presents bigger issues to us all around the world, how are we to trust the medical professionals from now on? Who is then certified to do what? Should every patient question the doctors and nurses for details of prescription,dosage and effects?

Honestly,transferring the two pharmacists away doesn't solve any problem. If anything, they are the ones least likely to commit the same mistake and will be extra careful when dispensing medicine and drugs.

Think about it, even with the probability of an oversight reduced with two instead of one professional, yet it can still happen to two patients, how can one not worry? And with such post-incident responses that we are getting, are hospitals taking lives seriously or not?

"Sorry" no longer mean a thing when you're putting someone's life at risk. It means zilch when a life is lost. I should say it is the misfortune of one having to live a life trying to deal with the complications of such negligence.

2009-11-16T00:56:00.002+08:00

Frantic 43 Hours - The Public Should Know About This

Some say my mum's quick reaction helped the hospital save Mdm Ng (Mrs Yip Poh Hung) from further damage to her body/organs.

Hospital seems to be isolating their mistake of two victims to one that is of grave mistake, and another which is of acceptable dosage based on international standards but not their usual practise due to higher risk.

Otherwise, why is it that reports claim pharmacists had visited Mdm Ng and apologized but not one of them came to my mum's ward to apologize? Because "it is okay"?

To me, I'm just thankful and I'm guessing the hospital is far more than thankful that the drug administered to my mum wasn't equally or far more potent. Which is why I'm hearing "it's okay"...

To me, both my mum and Mdm Ng are undergoing the same suffering but differing treatments...

UTTERLY DISGUSTED!!!

2009-11-15T21:53:00.002+08:00

Drug Blunder At KKH - The Public Should Know About This (Part 5)

With regards to compensation, I only have 1 word, "RIDICULOUS" to describe what the hospital had to say.

1) Full waiver of the current stay and checkups in hospital - DUH!!! You think KKH is some 5 star hotel with world-class room service?! My dad had to request for a TV to be installed in the ward so that my mum wouldn't think too much and that only came 5 days after the mistake occurred!!!

2) Waiver of my mum's 4th chemotherapy treatment

3) Full responsibility should my mum suffer from heart failure in future - The hospital claimed that in case of heart failure in future, they will perform post-mortem op to see if it was caused by the drug (which they said can be done by slicing up the heart). Cases of failure due to dietary reasons, blood clots etc will not deem the hospital responsible. WTH?!?!?!

First of all, I'm an idiot when it comes to science and medical terms. But correct me if I'm wrong to say that if the drug had an effect on the heart, as the heart starts to fail, won't other organs start to malfunction due to that of the heart?

They claimed to be open and transparent about it. Public seems to think so too now that this case is out on the news and papers. Guess what? On the day the article wrote by Ms Salma Khalik (Thank you very much, Ms Salma!) was published on the Straits Times on the 12th Nov 2009, why was it that the hospital, which has the papers on their stands on a daily basis not have one on the 12th? Even 7-eleven store in KKH did not put out any for purchase.

YOU CALL THAT TRANSPARENT?!?!

Now I wonder if that was the reason why my mum and Mdm Ng were placed in the isolation ward...

2009-11-15T19:02:00.004+08:00

Drug Blunder At KKH - The Public Should Know About This (Part 4)

During the inquiry on the 12th November 2009, my family members (Dad, Brother, Sis-in-law, Aunt Geraldine, Uncle James and Uncle Robin and Cuz Jeremy) attended the session but was left with even more question marks and anger!

Contradicting statements were made. Words didn't exactly mean a thing to me, for whatever that was said, it didn't exactly go well with what we have been experiencing. How should one believe that the hospital is taking this seriously when 1) We didn't get any specialist coming in immediately to update us on the situation/condition of my mum? 2) Days after the incident, we had so many differing medical opinions ? 3) Rather than to assure or cure the victims, we were told that the hospital was looking into the matter, found out the mistake was the negligence of 2 pharmacist, and spent time counselling them when they broke down upon knowing their mistake?

Counselling the pharmacists was much more important?!?! We all found it hard to swallow honestly.

If you thought that was disturbing, here's something even worse.

Dr Soh, my mum's chemo doctor, kept throwing medical statistics and facts at us (I HAVE THIS RECORDED), saying that the international guide for the administration of doxorubicin is acceptable even within 6 minutes, but has higher risks on the heart, which was why she prescribed it to be infused over 3 days. But she kept insisting "it is okay to have it administered over 6 minutes."

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY IT'S OKAY WHEN YOU'VE CLEARLY MENTIONED THERE'S HIGHER RISK?!?!

It made me lose my cool and I argued with her by saying that if it is okay, then I suggest that you have all your patients to complete their sessions over 6 minutes rather than over days as that would rule out any chances of any blunder by anyone.

As though, she didn't get my point, she later asked us (seemingly in a sacarstic manner), if we wanted her to have my mum's next few sessions of chemotherapy to be done in 6 minutes. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT WAS THE PROFESSIONAL STATEMENT MADE?!?!

The chairman of the inquiry, A.Professor Tan, obviously sensed something wasn't right and stopped Dr Soh from further comments and told her to do what's best for the patient.

2009-11-15T17:56:00.002+08:00

Drug Blunder At KKH - The Public Should Know About This (Part 3)

We were told that the hospital takes this incident SERIOUSLY and is very APOLOGETIC about their mistake. Honestly, I beg to differ. Even when the incident happened, the rate at which a doctor came to my mum and Mdm Ng, mind you it was a run-on-the-mill doctor who wasn't exactly sure of the effects etc, was appalling. The specialists weren't even activated immediately to rectify the blunder, leaving the two patients and their extended family members to worry the night away.

Of course, I assume after their good night's rest, they eventually came the following morning. And over the next few days, we had different doctors and nurses coming in with differing medical opinions. Some said it's an overdose, others assured us that everything is fine. What the heck is going on and how are we to trust the medical advice coming from KKH?!

Eventually, it got my other aunt (Aunt Julie) to rope in her media connections to arrange for a reporter from Straits Times to cover this shocking news.

Now, here comes the fako part. The day after the media sent in an email to medical affairs for an interview with the victims and doctors,we finally had a doctor of seemingly higher authority, A.Proffessor Chia, coming in along with an executive from the Medical Affairs Department, to offer us some explanation, AFTER 5 DAYS from the incident!!!

The executive apologized on behalf of the hospital, which to me was merely propriety without sincerity. I understand that she is just doing her job and I have nothing against her. Upon my questioning, she mentioned that the hospital had been tied up with their investigations and so they forgot and neglected to offer the victims any form of official apology and explanation.

THIS IS TOTAL BULLSHIT TO ME!!!

2009-11-15T16:05:00.002+08:00

Drug Blunder at KKH - Filled With Outrage & Disgust (Part 2)

The pharmacist then arranged for both my mum and Mdm Ng to be admitted into Ward B2 over night (A grave mistake committed by the hospital yet they are arranging for both victims to be staying in Ward B2) and requested for my sis and the son of Mdm Ng to follow her to the administrative counter to process the admission.

My sis then came back with a form requiring us to fill in the particulars for deduction of the stay in hospital. WE HAVE TO PAY TO STAY FOR THE MISTAKE MADE BY KKH?! Now tell me, if you were in the shoes of my family, how would you feel and what would you do? We were told that the payment will be made first by the patient before we can submit the claims!!! OMG!!!

From 11pm till past 1am, we didn't know what we were waiting for! Nurses came in to take blood pressure and asking my mum questions like: "Mdm Lee, do you have high blood pressure?" & "Have you undergone surgery recently?"...

It got Aunt Geraldine (my mum's sister) so mad that she demanded for doctors, not nurses asking routinal questions, to come and provide us with a more detailed analysis and check-up on my mum!!! About 10 - 15 minutes later, a run-of-the-mill doctor finally came to do some blood test etc. By then, my mum was experiencing flushing and palpitations, symptoms which she has never experienced after her first 2 chemotherapy sessions...

2009-11-15T15:19:00.003+08:00

Drug Blunder at KKH - Filled With Outrage & Disgust (Part 1)

As I'm seated next to my mum in the B Class Ward, the thought of what our family had been going through just gets on my nerves.

Poor mummy has been hospitalised since last Friday, 6th November 2009, no thanks to KK Women's & Children's Hospital (KKH) doing. Negligence by not one but TWO pharmacists led to the overdosage of chemotherapy drugs to my mum and another Stage 1 cancer patient.

Till date, not a single one of the two idiots has personally apologize to my mum. En-route to hospital with my dad, I was told that the culprits, however, did visit Mdm Ng Poh Hung(the other victim) and apologize for the blunder. Two cases of overdosage (drug that was supposed to be administered over 3-4 days was induced within 3-4 hours), two different type of drugs (Mdm Ng's drug was much more potent, as explained by the hospital), yet the culprits seem to be only concern and worried about the other victim.

Now, I'm not just hoping to seek redress but also public awareness about what's happening, which may not be as transparent as it seems...

On the night of the incident, my mum and sis rushed down to the hospital immediately after the alarm went off, indicating the complete infusion of the chemo drug, doxorubicin. Mum rang me up and I rushed down to the hospital straight after work. Upon arrival, we had to wait for one of the pharmacists (not the idiots, but equally incompetent) to attend to our worries.

One thing I couldn't stand is that over the past week, the words "serious" and "it's ok" have been used loosely!!!

She told us it's ok and that the side effects will be similar to undergoing the treatment over 3 days. I'm like "Hello, this is a negligence by the hospital, right? No way am I going to accept that a drug that was suppose to be taken over 3 days is the same as taking it over 3 hours!"

I was fuming and she told me the most important thing right now is to get the pump out of my mum's body and running some tests on her. Hearing that, I told her to go ahead. Instead, she went over to the phone and started ringing (I suppose she called up doctors to seek some advice) someone. Within minutes, my mum spotted Mdm Ng and she asked if she also faced the same issue. Our fear was affirmed by Mdm Ng.

Upon seeing us discussing the obvious mistake made, the pharmacist stopped whatever she was doing and walked over to us, trying to explain things yet again. She then told us that my mum's drug was not as potent as Mdm Ng's and it was ok for us to head back home. I was totally in "awe" by her statement. She then asked the two patients if we wanted to stay in hospital for further observations! I couldn't just stand there and hear her crap, choosing to interrupt her immediately and saying "This is not a matter of us wanting to stay but rather you telling us that we have to stay for further observations and tests to make sure that everything is fine!". She then replied "Then can I request that the patients stay over night?".

We found out later (during an inquiry arranged 5 days after the incident!!!) that pharmacists have no right to say whether or not one should be fine to leave the hospital and this should only be addressed by doctors.

2009-11-10T18:35:00.001+08:00

The Power & Influence Of Media

Now, The Straits Times will be doing a coverage.

2009-11-10T16:26:00.002+08:00

Now I've Come To Understand...

Apologies mean nothing. It means nothing when life is involved.

The apologies seem more like propriety than sincerity now.

2009-11-04T21:45:00.000+08:00

Ghost Of Ex-Girlfriends (Halloween Weekend)

Halloween was never anything special to a boring local dude like me, let alone inauspicious due to superstition (not that I'm a believer anyway).

But I definitely had my fair share of scares and bad luck on that very day...HAHA

Firstly, one of the couples I'd met (the lady,of course) had an uncanny 90% resemblance of an ex-girlfriend. As the session went on,I found it increasingly disturbing yet funny. Rest assured that I was still very professional about my job! :)

Then came the 3-1 loss to Fulham at Craven Cottage, which I thought would have summed up my Halloween...

That is until I dreamt that I was back together with another ex-girlfriend... :* HAHA

2009-10-26T23:33:00.000+08:00

Silly Mum, Playful Dad, And A Baking Sis

Mum's been complaining her life is becoming monotonous for she has played all the games in the PSP I bought for her umpteenth times.

So now, she looks forward to the days she battles Dad and Sis in 3-way mahjong sessions. I'm sorry for not being able to make up the numbers as I refuse to pick up the game.

Dad can't stop disturbing me each time he sees me. We would still chase each other around the house just to get a whack out of each other and he would still pamper us with durian and bbq pork treats...

Sis, for some reason, can't stop baking...

I, for some reason, can't stop working...

2009-10-24T00:22:00.000+08:00

15 Nov 2009
It felt good while it lasted :)

2009-10-20T01:13:00.001+08:00

Once Ajar, Now Totally Shut.

2009-10-19T23:58:00.002+08:00

Come Fly With Me, Let's Fly Away...

Bintan, Bali, Hong Kong, Taiwan. Shall we head there one of these days? :)

2009-10-19T23:36:00.001+08:00

Father & Son

We would watch Fringe together every Monday.

2009-10-18T23:30:00.001+08:00

It's funny how others think of me...

2009-10-18T20:21:00.002+08:00

An Innate Problem

That I see everyday in the mirror...

2009-10-18T12:56:00.002+08:00

Positive Vibes, Negative Thoughts

Maybe I'm wrong to be caught up with you.

And yes maybe you think nothing at all.

2009-10-10T10:07:00.003+08:00

Re-Birth

Time to take a short break away from reality and seek solace in cyberworld...

It's been non-stop work since I could last remember and time really flew by!
By now, I'm 25, mum and dad are getting older, my beloved Mac has crashed, IPPT window has opened again, my first in-camp training in a couple of months, Xmas and New Year just around the corner etc etc.

And as much job fulfillment that I have right now, I feel that I've yet to achieve anything. Not entirely in monetary or ambition sense but somehow, I have this sudden strong urge to give something to the society or nature. Say social work, peace-keeping, animal protection, search and rescue blah blah blah...

Then again, for someone struggling to get a grip with his own life, I'm in no position to consider otherwise. :P

2009-08-04T00:36:00.002+08:00

Why Did I Even Bother?

At least now I know EUROPE is much more important than most things...

2009-08-01T12:22:00.001+08:00

"Be The SUPERSTAR In You" Contest Result & Updates (31st July 2009)

2009-07-13T00:27:00.001+08:00

Define L.O.V.E

As age catches up and our perceptions change, I strongly believe that love, seemingly simple and fanciful, is evolving into a very abstract and complex notion; especially in local context.

What's unconditional love when there are bound to be restrictions set by individuals, be it the giver or receiver?

What's undying love when there's a line drawn between life-long affection and obligation to fulfill marital vows?

The doubts I have seem endless at this moment.

2009-07-11T22:58:00.001+08:00

Every tiny droplet forms the magnificent clouds in the sky.

Every little detail makes up the everlasting memories of a lifetime.

2009-07-09T00:39:00.000+08:00

This Lil Fella

Brightens up my day...

2009-07-08T01:15:00.002+08:00

Helpless

The difference between being at home and at work...

I'm helpless back at home.

2009-06-09T18:49:00.003+08:00

COFFEE & TEA DREAMWORKS 5TH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION

Check Coffee & Tea Dreamworks out on i-Weekly!

From June to July, they are running “Be the SUPERSTAR in YOU!” Contest and would like to invite you to join and win a Dreamz-Superstar Animation at http://www.dreamzcoffee.com/

**************************************

Contest is supported by the following:

i-Weekly, STOMP, Extraordinary Weddings, Intune Music School, Creatune Production, Le Satchi Design

Proudly presented and organised by

Coffee and Tea Dreamworks

+65 6337 1714

http://www.dreamzcoffee.com/