A Walk To Remember, A Night To Ponder, As I Look To December...

Revisited.

"My heart goes where ever you are..."

Don't ask me how or why, even I can't explain it to myself...

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Caught High School Musical 3 after work today and I must say my heart was pounding and thumping as the show went on... Zac Efron's performances were so captivating! I was never a fan of HSM and not watching the first two instalments is my testimony...and it was the preview to HSM 3 that caught my attention...i guess after this, I'll have to eat my own words when I said to the rest that HSM is one trilogy I won't be watching and then heading down to the rentals to grab myself the 2 discs...

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On my way home, I witnessed yet another wreakage of motor vehicles and human lying on the ground (it's my 3rd time this year seeing people lying still in the aftermath of accidents)...and as I sat in the bus...I was hoping that the victim will be fine for i thought, with every lost soul, there will be many broken hearts...

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Funny how Jojo and Ali Baba tried to get me into positive thinking today (Now you two know, besides studying, there's another thing that you're doing that is common!)... Like I told Ali, I believe we are who we are because of the way life has moulded us... Ali said that I'm feeling all so tired because I've been constantly putting on a fake smile...in order to assure my close ones that i'm fine when i'm actually not...this feeling has been cumulative over the past few years and not just over one or two incidents...i'm not the one who is worst off for sure by comparison with everyone else in this universe...but i'd like to think that many things that I've tried so hard to achieve, or believed in pretty much just didn't go the way it should have been...My heart was left in pieces, my faith and beliefs constantly questioned, series and series of misfortunate events that pretty much sucked my every breath away...

You say that one who puts others ahead of oneself will be a much happier & contented person..why am I not? Even if you won't allow me to be, why make me suffer from incriminations and humiliations that I certainly don't deserve especially in the process of making someone else happy or better off? What are you trying to teach me?

I can pretty much guess I don't deserve anything until the day I've learnt to love myself more than anything or anyone else? That means to put oneself above everything and everyone else?

I'm a very confused being...

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Everyone needs a guardian angel in life.

How true.