Dummies's Guide For Employers

1. In truth, employees do not owe you a living. So stop behaving like they do.

2. Employees are not slaves.

3. Inspire & motivate. Not infuriate with words that are mere rhetoric.

4. If you wish for productivity and cost efficiency, stop barking our names every now and then! ("Now and then" implies every 5-10 minutes, LITERALLY!) If you think you have the right to do so since you are the paymaster, continue to do so then.

5. Stop hallucinating that all the staff have the intention to steal some top secret or anything private and confidential from the company. If you have that mentality deeply rooted in your thick skull, invest in a state-of-the-art security system or implement red tapes! Otherwise, don't even dream about expanding the company.

6. Pre-inform your staff of your expectations (Read: "1 Free Round of Amendment Only").

7. If you hire an amateur, don't expect anything world class. Shame on you if you even think of putting the blame on him/her for not delivering the goods.

8. You teach and impart skills/knowledge to your staff primarily to move the company forward, not to expect loyalty in return. It is how you treat your employees that will probably determine their stay with the company.

9. If you can't even treat your employees/partners right, don't expect them to treat you well too.

10. You can't impose a ban on office politics. Not to mention implement fines for those caught for bitching behind the back of a crap ass boss!

11. If you don't give a shit, why should any of your employees?

12. Your employees are not borned yesterday, so stop kidding them with a non-existent "Management" or a "rainbow" that does not have any pot of gold at both ends.

13. You're probably unlucky to have 1 problematic employee. But if majority of the staff have issues, you're definitely the problematic one.

14. If you can't even walk your talk, I suggest you take the talk and shaft it up your own ass.

15. Employees have their minds and rights to decide what's best for them and probably what's worst for the company, if it ever turns ugly.

16. As employers, you have the right to ignore or not heed the above-mentioned. However, don't be too surprise when things happen for we, as employees, always have Point 15 to fall back on.