An interesting ang moh guest at work yesterday...
Conversation 1
Guest: Hey Chunky, how about grabbing yourself a glass of wine and drink with me?
Me: Well, I'd love to, Sir...But....
Guest: But but but what? Are you going to be like your big boss (Referring to Regi) who is scared to drink?
Me: I'm on the job now....
Guest: So?
Me: It will be odd if I drink and work...And I get tipsy after a few drops...
Guest: So what happens when you get tipsy? Do you sing,dance or what?
Me: Hmmm...that I'm not too sure and I don't think you would wanna know, Sir...
Guest: Well that's what you think!
*I left the table after cooking up some reason that I had to serve food*
Conversation 2
Guest: Chunky, so are you going to join me for a drink or not?
Me: Well...(I saw Regi behind) You might wanna check with my big boss... Meanwhile, enjoy your appetizers (Referring to both himself and another guest he was with)
Conversation 3
Guest: Chunky, as if your belt is not suggestive enough, why must it be placed at such a strategic location?
Me: The belt is a way for guests to identify the staff at BROTH, cos it carries our names or in my case my nickname...
Guest: What if you have a hard-on?
(WTF!?!?!?!?!?!)
Me: Well Sir I dont think the guests will want to or be able to see because my pants are black in colour!
Guest: So does that mean you dont get hard-ons?
(Just kill me!!!)
Me: No sir, but I think the guests are more interested in the food than whats happening below!
Guest: Are you sure?
Me: Well I'm 99% sure of it, Sir!
Guest: Well then I am the odd 1%...
*I wished to die on the spot....*
Conversation 3
Guest: Chunky, how do you wear your pants?
Me: I'm sorry sir?
Guest: How do you fit into your pants? (IT SEEMS VERY TIGHT TO YOU MEH?)
Me: Well I have no problems wearing it but I guess it tightens after a while...
*I felt so naked...*
Conversation 4
Guest: Chunky....
Me: Yes sir?
Guest: So now its McDonalds here huh?
Me: I dont get you sir...
Guest: Dont call me Sir here and there!
Me: Okay! So how can I address you, Mr.......
Guest: No Mr also....Just Goodu...Call me Goodu...
(You trying to be funny with me?!?! I'll call you goondu lah!!!)
Me: Alright Goodu!
Conversation 5
Guest: Chunky...
Me: Yes Goodu?
Guest: What do you do besides working?
Me: Erm nothing much actually, basically work and after work home and back to work again the next day.
Guest: Oh poor you...
Me: It's alright.
Conversation 6
Guest: Chunky, where did you cut your hair?
Me: Somewhere around here in Tanjong Pagar...
Guest: How much did you pay for it?
Me: 10 bucks!
Guest: That explains...
Me: No choice, the army is recalling me soon!
Guest: Oh poor thing...
* A lengthy conversation followed but it wasn't really important...He was telling me that he used to be in the Singapore Navy and that his camp was in Paya Lebar although he is a Tanjong Pagar Boy.... Dont ask me what that meant... I didnt even believe when he told me he was part of our country's conscription system! *
Conversation 7
Guest: Chunky, are you hokkien?
Me: Yes I am Goodu...
Guest: Oh thats great cos I'm about to tell you a secret in Hokkien!
Me: Oh but my hokkien sucks. I only know the basics....
* God knows what he will say to me had I not tell him that my hokkien sucks! *
Conversation 8
Guest: Chunky, I'm gonna have an after meal drink which will be the sambuca and I want you to have the same thing as I am having no matter what....
(NO CHOICE LOR...CUSTOMER ALWAYS RIGHT MAH!!!)
After a while....
Me: Goodu, how would you like your sambuca? On the rocks or straight-up?
Guest: How would you like yours then?
Me: Actually I hate sambuca!
Guest: What do you like then?
Me: Baileys.
Guest: Get yourself one then!
While maintaining a distance between myself and him (I was standing behind the bar), I gestured to him a toast with my baileys and sway sway he called me over again...
Guest: Chunky, how's your love life?
Me: Well I'm single cos I broke up a few months back.
Guest: I didn't ask you that....
Me: Okay...
Guest: How's your love life today?
Me: Well, nothing I guess...zero?
Guest: So it's kosong?
Me: Yah kosong....
Guest: You poor thing...
It was over after this....Thankfully!
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